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Tim Grover's Relentless Training Approach and the Dark Side of Greatness

Tim Grover has trained several of the greatest basketball players of the past three decades, including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade. Grover's new book Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable (co-written with Shari Lesser Wenk) reveals not only his methods but also his cogent observations about the personalities of elite athletes and the traits that enable them to consistently outperform their peers.

Grover says that an athlete--or anyone striving to be the best--can become "unstoppable" by "placing no limits" on himself, a philosophy that Grover employed to get the biggest break of his career; Grover was a young, unknown personal trainer when he saw a small newspaper article describing how Michael Jordan was determined to no longer be pushed around by the two-time NBA champion Detroit Pistons. Grover contacted the Chicago Bulls and said that he had the right recipe to transform Jordan's physique. Jordan was skeptical because he had injured his back the last time he worked with a personal trainer but after hearing Grover's detailed pitch he agreed to give Grover a 30 day trial. Grover remained Jordan's trainer for the next 15 years (until Jordan retired for good) and the publicity that Grover received from training Jordan became the foundation for building his Attack Athletics business. Grover did not listen to those who told him that he would never get a chance to work with Jordan; by placing "no limits" on himself Grover achieved far more than anyone could have reasonably predicted or expected.

Grover's message to his clients is simple: "Show up, work hard and listen." That is reminiscent of John Madden's motto when he coached the Oakland Raiders: "Be on time, pay attention and play like hell when I tell you to." Grover expresses himself very confidently and Relentless has a strident, blunt tone that may make some readers uncomfortable--but Grover would not have it any other way: "Comfortable makes you good. We're going for unstoppable, and there's a price to pay for that." Grover divides competitors into three categories: "Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners," which Grover defines respectively as "Good, Great, and Unstoppable."

Grover describes a Cleaner as "the most intense and driven competitor imaginable...You understand the insatiable addiction to success; it defines your entire life." Grover admits that he is not a psychologist and that he has not conducted an academic research study of greatness; he learned what he knows about the subject by working with elite athletes and his message to readers is "not science. It's raw animal instinct." Grover came up with the term Cleaner because "They just clean up the mess and move on," like a custodian who "calls no attention to himself, no one sees him work, no one knows what he does, but the job always gets done." A Cleaner has a simple mantra: "I own this." A Cleaner takes responsibility but does not seek credit or glory: "A true Cleaner never tells you what he's doing or what he's planning. You find out after the job is complete. And by the time you realize what he's accomplished, he's already moved on to the next challenge." Real bad boys move in silence, while posers just talk about what they are going to do.

There is an unintentionally ironic line in Grover's book. He declares, "Those who talk don't know, and those who know don't talk. I don't talk." He says that his clients have to completely trust his discretion and for that reason he has never revealed his training methods--yet the very point of Relentless is to not only describe his methods but to convince the reader that those methods are more effective than the methods of other trainers! Grover is right that, as Tevin Campbell once sang, "Nothing comes from talkers but sound," but it still strikes a discordant note for him to criticize talking about one's methods in a book written for the general public, because as an author Grover is in fact "talking." Despite this one ironic statement, Grover's larger point is correct; it is much more meaningful to be about it than to talk about it and Grover and his clients have a long track record of successfully getting the job done.

Cleaners share 13 traits. Grover deliberately settled on the number 13 because he does not believe in luck, only "circumstances and outcomes, and you can control both if you desire." Grover believes that if you give someone a numbered list then that person will assume that some things on the list are more important than others. Grover insists that everything he says--as a trainer and as an author--is important or he would not say it, so whenever he makes a list every point is numbered "1."

A Cleaner thrives in pressure situations but Grover notes, "There is no such thing as the 'clutch gene'" and he adds, "I'd be insulted if someone said I had a clutch gene. It's not a compliment when people say you step up for the big games. Where were you all the other games? Why weren't you that solid and aggressive and effective all the time?" Grover concludes, "Clutch is about the last minute. Relentless is about every minute." Grover agrees that Being a Clutch Player is More Significant than Just Making Clutch Shots; a clutch player--a Cleaner--puts pressure on himself to excel all of the time, not just in some arbitrarily defined clutch situation. 

Grover says that a Cleaner controls his emotions and saves his energy for his performance: "Before a game, I don't want to see guys dancing and screaming and shaking each other into a frenzy. It looks good for the fans and the cameras, but all that emotion pulls your focus toward manufactured pregame hype and away from your mission...Watch the true leaders. At game time, Kobe comes onto the court the way a CEO walks into a shareholders' meeting. Shakes a few hands, says hello to the players and the refs, and gets down to business. Michael wanted no physical contact before a game--no hugs or handshakes. He'd give his teammates a fist bump or a subtle high five--hands never too high, always low and contained--and he never made eye contact. At the end of the player introductions, he'd go around to his teammates and settle everyone down, like a father covering the kids, a quick moment to remind them, Don't worry, I got you."

Maintaining inner calm is the key for an athlete to stay in the much talked about but little understood Zone. Grover observes that Michael Jordan is the only athlete he has ever seen "who was completely in the Zone every time he played, always a Cleaner." At first that may sound like an exaggeration but consider that Jordan led the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls to a 72-10 record; that whole team was in a Zone almost every night and it would be fair to say that their few losses stemmed more from physical exhaustion than any loss of mental focus. Grover mentions a particular game from that season that casual fans may not know about but that serious Bulls fans will never forget: the Vancouver game when the Bulls seemed to be heading toward a loss and Darrick Martin decided to start trash talking Michael Jordan. Jordan may have been out of the Zone at the start of the game but after Martin foolishly woke him up Jordan put on an incredible performance in an otherwise meaningless game--and the only way a team goes 72-10 is if that team does not believe that any game is meaningless. That pursuit of greatness--of perfection--is so much more viscerally appealing than the nonsense we see far too often when teams "rest" players because certain games are considered meaningless.

Jordan's leadership of the 72-10 Bulls represents all that is positive about being a Cleaner but in Perfection Versus Perspective I wrote about how challenging it can be to balance being a perfectionist with achieving serenity and peace:

The flip side of this kind of ferocious, single-minded drive and determination is that, as Kobe Bryant candidly admitted recently, "Winning takes precedence over all. There's no gray area. No almosts. It's a very unbalanced way to live and I know that. It's not healthy. And I can't justify it, but someone has to win and why not me and the Lakers organization."

I then asked the key question:

How can one simultaneously have perfection as a goal and yet deal with the reality that nothing in this world--particularly one's ability to perform under pressure--is perfect?

Grover does not directly answer this question in Relentless but he acknowledges that there is a price to pay for the "dark side" that propels a Cleaner to success:  "Cleaners have a dark side, and a zone you can't enter. They get what they want, but they pay for it in solitude. Excellence is lonely...Most people are afraid to climb that high, because if they fail, the fall will kill them. Cleaners are willing to die trying. They don't worry about hitting the ceiling or the floor. There is no ceiling. There's no floor either."

Grover's take on the Tiger Woods scandal will offend many people, particularly those who think that faithfulness in marriage is more important than becoming the greatest golfer ever: "With everyone watching and judging and analyzing every detail of his private life, that dark side evaporated; that kind of energy simply can't survive in the light. It completely loses its power, unless you're willing to stand up and say, 'Yeah, so what?' and go right on doing whatever you were doing."

In case you missed the message, Grover states his point explicitly in Relentless: "As someone who has known and liked Tiger for a long time, I didn't want to see that apology. I wanted to see him say nothing in public and show up ready to fight another day...No apologies. I wanted to see Tiger handle his situation with that kind of confidence. He built this intimidating reputation of being a killer on the golf course; I didn't want to see him hanging his head. He didn't murder anyone. He stepped out on his wife, it's between him and his family. Worried about losing endorsements? Go win something, they all come running back." That may sound cynical but it is true: one Super Bowl title made most people forget that, at the very least, Ray Lewis obstructed justice in a double murder case and then a second Super Bowl title seemingly elevated Lewis to some kind of secular saint status in the NFL universe.

Grover believes that the same dark side that inspires elite athletes to set records and win championships also explains their risk taking away from the field of play and that in fact it is not possible to reach the highest level without having a dark side that inevitably spills over into other aspects of the competitor's life. Is it possible to become the best of the best without in some way giving in to the "dark side"? It would be nice to think that it is possible to be great without succumbing to darkness but the parade of elite politicians, athletes, writers and other highly successful people who have become embroiled in sordid scandals is not encouraging. Yes, of course one can find examples of seemingly well-balanced, happy people who are very successful but are those examples refutations of Grover's idea or just the proverbial exceptions that prove the rule? Without getting into graphic details and just limiting the discussion to basketball it is well known that many of the greatest players of all-time had/have tremendous appetites for gambling, drugs, lavish spending, extramarital sex and/or other activities that often result in misery for themselves and/or their spouses, children or other relatives. Grover's direct take on this subject is disturbing and uncomfortable not because he is off target but because he may very well be correct; how many times has someone been elevated to role model status only to eventually become disgraced when his transgressions are revealed?

Grover knows how to train champions and he understands what makes champions tick. His description of the mindset of Cleaners like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant is compelling and it rings true--but any thoughtful person will inevitably wonder about the price of greatness. Being Relentless has worked for many elite athletes but is it the only approach or is it possible to reach the pinnacle with a mindset like the one described in Garret Kramer's Stillpower?

Labels: Dwyane Wade, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tim Grover

posted by David Friedman @ 4:19 PM

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Interview with Tim Grover, Author of Relentless

Tim Grover has trained Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade and many other elite athletes. His new book Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable (co-written with Shari Lesser Wenk) divides competitors into three categories: Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners. A Cleaner is the ultimate competitor who has an "insatiable addiction to success." A Closer "can handle a lot of pressure" and will perform effectively if his task is clearly defined, while a Cooler is a follower who "can make a huge play, but he's ultimately not responsible for the outcome."

I recently spoke with Grover and he shared with me his observations about the mindset of elite athletes.

Friedman: "In your book you discuss how LeBron James and Dwyane Wade performed in the 2012 playoffs en route to winning the NBA championship. What is your take on LeBron James' performance in the 2010 playoffs with the Cleveland Cavaliers and his performance in the 2011 playoffs with the Miami Heat? What do you think was going on with him that prevented him from performing up to the capabilities that he displayed in 2012?"

Grover: "In his early years I think that LeBron was having a hard time figuring out who he is and was as a player. There are 13 different characteristics that I mention in Relentless that define who a Cooler is, who a Closer is and who a Cleaner is. In his early years with Cleveland he did not have that father figure--or that Cleaner, as I call it--to kind of guide him through those stages. LeBron was learning on the fly. When you come into Cleveland as the man having all of that pressure on you from high school and not having anybody to teach you how to deal with it and how to handle that in athletics, then it accumulates too much until you start overanalyzing things and you start thinking too much. You start worrying about what everybody else is saying. When he was in Miami, Dwyane Wade--having gone through all the trials and tribulations with the Miami Heat, from the (2006) championship to all the way down to being a Lottery team--learned how to deal with all the different levels of adversity and success. He was able to teach LeBron or when he would see LeBron in certain situations playing or in practice he knew how to put LeBron in position to succeed."

Friedman: "As you just mentioned in your answer and as you discuss in your book, you define competitors as Coolers, Closers and Cleaners. I am going to mention several players--one is retired and the rest are still active--and I would like to know which category you would place each of them in and why you would place that player in that particular category. The first one is a player who I know that you worked with when he played for the Chicago Bulls: Scottie Pippen."

Grover: "Scottie was a Closer. Scottie was a Closer who understood that his role was to assist and help the ultimate Cleaner (Michael Jordan) get to where he wanted to get to. When Scottie was was placed in a couple situations where he was the lead person on the team he found out how difficult it was not only to deal with the pressure on the court but also what comes with it off the court. Every time there is a mistake on the team or there is a loss or there is some off the court issue, you have to deal with that. Not every individual can deal with that situation."

Friedman: "That is the same category that you place LeBron in as well. You called LeBron a Closer for the reasons that you gave in your earlier answer. Is that correct?"

Grover: "Right. It's still early in LeBron's career. Remember, a Cleaner is a combination of many different aspects: championships, what you do on the court, what you do off the court. LeBron is still early in his career and what I have seen in the past (resembles a Closer) but he is definitely heading in the direction toward Cleaner status. I don't think that he is there yet because Cleaner status is all about what the end result is. It's not about the skill level, because we know that his skill level is extremely superior. It's about the mentality you have and how you handle it from the neck up. That can apply to anybody in any walk of life, not just in basketball. This is about the mental makeup of an individual."

Friedman: "So, even with the Finals MVP and the performance this season during the 27 game winning streak and so forth, you still don't think that LeBron has fully reached Cleaner level?"

Grover: "No, I don't. Each individual is held to a different standard. So, the standard that I would hold him to as a Cleaner is much different than the standard I would set for another player who does not have his ability. Three MVPs going on number four--which he will win--is not the end result. The end result is the championship. Now, if they pull off the championship again this year then we will definitely move him up into that Cleaner category. As of now, there is more that needs to be proved."

Friedman: "How would you categorize Chris Paul and why?"

Grover: "Chris Paul is definitely a Cleaner. No question."

Friedman: "In your estimation, what is the difference between Chris Paul and LeBron James? LeBron James has won three MVPs and a championship, while Chris Paul has not attained any of those things. What difference do you see in Chris Paul’s mindset?"

Grover: "Chris has not had a chance to play with the talent level that LeBron has. Throughout Chris' whole career, he has always wanted the ball in his hands. He has always decided whether he is going to shoot the ball or put the ball in someone else's hands to succeed. He is always willing to take the last shot and accept that pressure. He is always dictating where his players should be and what they should be doing. There was an article recently that stated that his teammates are tired of hearing him constantly telling them that they need to get better and play at a higher level. He is constantly relentless about putting that in their heads all the time. That is what a Cleaner does. Not everyone is going to be able to get to that championship level but it is about the mentality that you are applying to do what you can to get there."

Friedman: "What about Kevin Durant? Where would you place him?"

Grover: "Kevin Durant, to me right now, is also a Closer. I feel like Russell Westbrook is actually the Cleaner on that team."

Friedman: "That is very interesting, because I think that in the past 20 years or so in each generation there has been one great player who has been a bit underestimated. You and I may disagree a little bit about Scottie Pippen but I think that he was unappreciated. I think that in the next decade--the 2000s--Kobe Bryant has been unfairly criticized or unappreciated and I think that the next guy who is getting that mantle of being a great player but everybody is nitpicking his game or saying that he has the wrong attitude is Russell Westbrook. So, it is interesting that you say that he is a Cleaner and not Kevin Durant. I think that this is a minority opinion but I would really like to hear you explain what you see in Westbrook's game that maybe a lot of people are not seeing."

Grover: "He is 100% fearless. If you look at the characteristics of a Cleaner, one of them is that it is better to be feared than to be liked. He instills fear into his opponents and he doesn't care about being liked. He doesn't care about being liked by the media, he doesn't care about being liked by his teammates or by his opponents. His attitude is that he has a job to do and this is how he is going to do it. He will take the last second shot if necessary. They are interchangeable because there are some nights that I see Kevin Durant as a Cleaner but the majority of the time from a mental standpoint I see Russell as being the person who drives that team and gives them their personality."

Friedman: "You have not personally worked with Westbrook, have you?"

Grover: "I have not."

Friedman: "But obviously you've worked with Kobe, so you know Kobe better than you know Russell Westbrook. From what you've observed knowing Kobe very well and from what you've observed of Westbrook from a distance, do you see a similarity in their mindsets?"

Grover: "Very similar. Very, very similar."

Friedman: "That is interesting. I think that a lot of people would disagree with you about that but on that particular point I agree with you and I have written about that for the past year or two. When Kobe retires or at least declines physically--even though that seemingly has not happened yet--I think that Westbrook is going to take over as the best guard in the league even though many people will not even realize that this has happened.

Where would you place Carmelo Anthony in your continuum? Also, give an explanation for why you would place him there."

Grover: "Carmelo is one of those individuals on the Closer/Cleaner border. He goes back and forth. As he grows older in his career and deals with everything that you have to deal with in New York I think that he will obtain Cleaner status. I think that a lot of times he lets outside things interfere with what he is doing on the court. One thing I always say is a Cleaner knows what his job is. People always talk about Kobe and say he should pass the ball more and shoot less but Kobe's job is to get buckets. That's Kobe's job. That's what Melo's job is. You have to keep that mentality and let other teams make the adjustment toward you while also realizing that this is your main focus but not your only focus--if you are having an off night then you have to get your teammates in position to do what you are not able to do on a particular day. I think that is what Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Durant have to do in order to get to that next level."

Friedman: "That is interesting because in some of his public comments Kobe Bryant has said that Carmelo should accept that this is his role instead of trying to do other things or trying to justify why he took certain shots. Kobe has said that Carmelo should have a mentality like his own and not apologize for shooting a lot. So, you think that Carmelo is a hybrid who has some Closer tendencies and some Cleaner tendencies but that he is not quite in either category."

Grover: "Right."

Friedman: "I read a book a few months ago that deals with sports training and sports motivation. It is Stillpower by Garret Kramer. Have you read that book or are you familiar with its theme?"

Grover: "No, I have not."

Friedman: "Since you have not read the book I am going to briefly describe a couple aspects of the book to you and then ask you to compare that book's approach to your approach. There are a couple major points in the Stillpower book. One is very similar to comments that you made. In your book you talk about the Zone and that the Zone is not about thinking but about doing. You do what you are supposed to do without overthinking and overanalyzing. Kramer also says that the Zone is a place for 'minimal thinking or analyzing.' So you guys have the same point of view about that but in another aspect I see a bit of a difference. The very title of your book is Relentless and you describe using willpower and strength of mind to run right over any obstacle that is in front of you. In order to be a Cleaner that is what you have to do, kind of like what you said about Carmelo Anthony. He has to know that he is a scorer and he has to accept it, regardless of what the media says or what anybody else says. He just has to do that and just run over any obstacle that stops him. Whereas Kramer believes that sometimes too much emphasis is placed on willpower. He contrasts that with Stillpower, which he defines as 'The clarity of mind to live with freedom and ease; the inner source of excellence; the opposite of willpower.' That seems like a different approach from your method of being strong-willed and defiant, which he believes can be a detriment in certain situations, that being too strong-willed can get you out of the Zone and get you out of the mentality to succeed. I see value in his approach but I also see value in your approach and I know that there are players who are following your way. Based on my description of his book, do you see a place for this concept of Stillpower and for putting the mind at ease? I also think that there is a similarity between Stillpower and some of the philosophies that Phil Jackson espoused. What do you think of that and how does all of this mesh with your idea of just relentless willpower and attack, attack, attack?"

Grover: "Here is my issue with Stillpower. You can't have Stillpower unless your skills are so refined that you don't have to think about it. You talk about willpower and using willpower to get through something but if you don't have the mastery of the skills or the mental mindset to be relentless at it where it's so well defined then you can have all the willpower in the world and not be able to it. So my approach is that your skills at whatever you are doing from a physical and mental standpoint have to be so well defined and so mastered that you don't have to think about it. I always use Michael (Jordan) as an example. When he played, his mastery of the fundamental skills was so second nature that he never had to even think about what he was doing. He didn't even have to see the rim. He knew that if he was on a certain part of the floor he had taken so many shots from there that you could have a hand in his face or push him or do whatever you want to do he knew that the shot was going in. My thing is that in order to not be able to think and not to be have to use an excessive amount of willpower you first have to have a skill set that is so second to none that you don’t have to think about what you are doing. It is all reflexes, not reaction."

Friedman: "In a recent interview with T.J. Simers of the L.A. Times, Kobe Bryant admitted that his way, his forcefulness is 'very unbalanced' and 'not healthy' but that even though he understands that being so forceful can lead to imbalance in other parts of his life and it might not be the healthiest approach overall that was the approach he had to take to be a champion. He is willing to sacrifice a little bit of that healthiness or balance. This is an issue that you discuss at length in your book. You make reference to Tiger Woods and his personal life and you even said that you don't think that he should have apologized--at least not publicly--because that took something away from his competitiveness by making a public acknowledgment of his weakness, so to speak. Is it possible to have the 'dark side' that you describe in your book and that Kobe mentioned in the interview, to have that 'dark side' competitiveness without having it spill over into one’s personal life? Can someone reach that absolute highest level of Cleaner status and still be what most people would consider to be a balanced, healthy person in one's personal life?"

Grover: "You cannot be at the top of your game, profession or whatever it is without sacrificing something else. It's just not possible, because you are so focused on getting that one thing that something else has to give or something else has to be broken. You are pursuing the one thing that means more to you than anything else and if you can't get to that one thing then you figure out a different direction or a different path to get that result. When you do that then there is always something else is always going to take a back seat. Is that a healthy balance? No, and we talk about that in Relentless, that it's not a healthy balance. It's not a healthy lifestyle and it really is not for everybody but if you are looking to achieve that ultimate success then this is the way it has to be."

Friedman: "In your book you say that you don't really think that it is possible for people to change, that you either have this mindset or you don't. A recent article about Tiger said that he is more open with the media and he is more relaxed and he seems like a different person. The writer tried to figure out if Tiger is number one in the world again because he changed or if changing his personality helped him to become number one. I suspect that your response would be 'None of the above' and that you don't really believe that he has changed and that at his core he is still the same person and this is why he is number one again."

Grover: "100% correct."

Friedman: "So do you think that the 'new' Tiger Woods that is available for public consumption--not to disparage Tiger--but that it is a p.r. thing in a sense and that what he has really done is gone back to the elements that originally enabled him to be a champion?"

Grover: "Correct. He lost his 'dark side' and it took him a while to find it again. Now he's healthy physically. To me, he tried to become something he wasn't and we make that perfectly clear in the book. You become the way you are based on something that happens to you in your childhood or growing up and that makes you the way you are. How you take that will determine where you fit into one of those three categories. All Tiger has done is redefined himself back to the person he always has been."

Friedman: "Just to take this full circle, if your belief is true that a person can't change and that each person fits into one of these categories then is it really possible for LeBron to make this evolution after almost a decade in the league? Can he go from being a Closer to being a Cleaner if by nature he is not like Kobe, not like Jordan, not like Tiger Woods, not like Chris Paul, not like Westbrook? If he is not like that then how can he completely become that way?"

Grover: "Anyone can and that is the point of the book but it just depends how you handle the situations that are thrown your way. Let's say that they win the championship. Will he continue to want to win more or will he say that's enough? If they don't win the championship how will he react to that? Will he become a better player or will he stay the same way? Everyone has the ability to get to the next stage, to go from a Closer to a Cleaner or to go from a Cooler to a Closer, but what's thrown in front of you and how you handle it will determine that. It's not just about sports. You can be a Cleaner as a bus driver, as a teacher, as a radio host. It really doesn't matter what it is you do but rather how you handle what is thrown at you and what direction that takes you in."

Friedman: "From your perspective, LeBron is clearly the best player in the league, but whether or not you are a Cleaner is not determined by your skill set. His skill set at this point is second to none but the mindset that you are talking about--that thirst that if I have one championship then I want two, if I lose in the Finals then I want to get back--is the kind of thing that you want to see or is to be determined regarding LeBron’s status.”

Grover: "Absolutely."

Friedman: "Thank you very much for your time. Your book is an interesting read. You say in the book that your job is not to make people comfortable and you don't mind making people uncomfortable. I think that it will be an uncomfortable read for some people from the standpoint that, as you alluded to in the book and in this interview, it takes a 'dark side' to get to that highest level. I think that is a message that a lot of people may not want to hear or want to believe, even though there seems to be some truth to that."

Labels: Dwyane Wade, Garret Kramer, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Miami Heat, Michael Jordan, stillpower, Tiger Woods, Tim Grover

posted by David Friedman @ 8:04 PM

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